Saturday Night Live opened this week’s show with two massive guest stars. Reuniting nearly two decades after they first starred together in Meet the Parents, Ben Stiller as Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, came face to face with none other than Robert De Niro as Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
The cold open began with Jeff Sessions (Kate McKinnon) and Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) at the Department of Justice, talking about how the raid on Michael Cohen is the latest bit of bad news for the Trump Administration. Stiller’s Cohen asked them,
Can you believe what they’re doing to poor Mr. Trump? It’s a disgrace! This whole raid was a complete violation of attorney/criminal privilege!
We got a real problem here, Jeff. You know how much evidence I have in my office? I’m Donald Trump’s lawyer—I’ve got a whole hard drive that’s just labeled, “Yikes!”
Cohen is eventually led down the hall into a room where Robert Mueller—played masterfully by longtime Trump detractor Robert De Niro—is waiting for him with a lie detector, to ask about Cohen’s $130,000 payoff to Stormy Daniels. The lie detector recalled the scene in Meet the Parents in which De Niro’s overprotective father character administers a lie detector test to Stiller as his prospective son-in-law.
Stiller’s Cohen tries to squirm out of the test, as he wants to avoid letting on that his boss knew about the payouts:
It was supposed to be a surprise for Stormy, like a gift. Like a rock through the window with a note tied to it that says, “Stop talking.”
“So you’ve threatened people,” Mueller asked. Cohen replied,
Not necessarily. Let’s just say I’ve cut a lot of letters out of a lot of magazines. Just trying to milk some information out of people.
Then Cohen repeated Stiller’s famous line from the movie, “You can milk anything with nipples,” prompting De Niro/Mueller to day, “Really? I have nipples. Can you milk me, Mr. Cohen?”
Later in the skit, Stiller asked Mueller what code name he had given to Trump. Mueller replied,
Well, it used to be “Putin’s Little Bitch,” but now it’s “Stormy’s Little Bitch.”
Trump’s daughter, Ivanka Trump, is codenamed “girlfriend,” and Cohen’s is “Dead Man Walking.”
And when when the special counsel scolded Cohen for complaining about the violation of his rights, Mueller said,
Now you listen to me, you little weasel. I don’t know what rights you think you have. You broke the law. And now we’re going to catch all of you little “fockers,” you got that?
What do YOU think?
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